Selfishly
I want so bad to keep him all for myself.
To wrap my arms around him so tightly that my warmth will be all that he recognizes.
After all, I gave birth to him. He is mine.
Selfishly.
I want him to come to me with all of his fears. Who knows? We may share some of the same ones.
I don't ever want to be second when it comes to the discovery of his journey.
I have experienced so many of his firsts. Who says it has to stop?
Selfishly.
If only he would open up his heart and expose his feelings.
The ones deep down inside where the rhythm is the strongest.
I hate that his heart is pulled in so many different directions. If only I could hold it in my hands.
Selfishly.
But one day, when he is no longer under my wing of protection, he will soar all on his own.
I may have a hard time letting him go. Freeing him. Releasing my hold.
I could shield him from harm forever...if he let me.
Selfishly.
When he purses his lips to speak the words, "Mom, I have this under control", I will lose mine.
But that is just fine.
He has all the love he needs in case of heartbreak or heartache.
For now, he's still a kid.
Innocent.
Funny.
Unknowing.
Naive.
Brilliant.
Creative.
And surrounded my people who will always let him explore this world through the scope of creativity.
Still, he is mine.
The world will not ever take him far enough away from me that my spirit cannot reach his.
We can share him.
Selfishly.
