An Ode to the Car Rider Parents...or Something Like That


Arriving at school,
just in the nick of time,
I frantically check the clock,
As I sit in the car rider line.

With five minutes to spare,
the lot is buzzing all around.
There's laughter, honking, whining.
And every other imaginable sound.

I sit and wait patiently,
With my foot on the brake.
Not one car is moving.
How long does this really take?!

Slowly, inch by inch,
The cars begin to move,
Then, on the radio plays a song.
I shout, "that's my groove!"

For a minute, I'm content.
I've been distracted by a jam.
But, how quickly I remember.
I'm STILL behind the same van.

Oh. Em. Freakin' Gee.
What the heck is the prob?
The sign says, "Kiss & Goodbye".
You clearly read, "Hold-up & Sob".

Haven't they read the newsletter?
In the car you must stay.
If they're just going to ignore it.
Get the hell outta my way!

It's like the line belongs to them.
Gee, I love my kid too.
All the hugging and chatting, seriously,
Can't it wait until after two?

Ahead, I can see my destination.
The line at which you stop.
I'm excited to be moving.
I'm almost to the spot.

And just as I do my happy dance,
the van stops way before the line.
I slam my brakes and fly forward.
Evidently, they missed the sign.

Out pours one hundred children,
With their band instruments in tow.
Okay, I'm exaggerating a bit.
But I do remember saying, "Whoa!"

And just when I think it's over,
Mom emerges from the van.
She circles around and flags them down,
Places lunch money in each hand.

I probably should have screamed.
I should have started to shout.
I needed to honk the horn.
Instead, I offered a pout.

I uttered my famous words,
"This is the worst line in the world."
Unless we're talking about Black Friday.
But, at least THAT'S worth it...girl!

And all the while my child waits.
He laughs at his "crazy" mom.
At least he knows I follow directions.
Now, I need to work on calm.

Then, the skies above open,
And reveal a ray of light.
I inch up to the painted, white line.
There's victory in sight.

I put the car in park.
I unlock all of the doors.
My son and I exchange our "good byes".
NOW, out the car he pours. 

In less than 30 seconds, 
We managed to complete this task.
I wish other parents took note,
Or sign-up for a car rider's class.

This is my ode to all the parents,
Who think their behavior is fine.
I'm fed up with your selfish ways, 
And I've been forced to whine.

Leave your house a bit earlier.
Practice getting out of the car.
Drive like you have your license. 
Act like you know what rules are.


Remember, everyone's time is precious.
I'll keep on making this a big fuss.
It's days like this as a car rider,
My son wishes he rode the bus.

After all this is said and done,
I'm sure you'll do it again tomorrow.
So, in this case, I'll be back.
Hopefully with time to borrow.

Sigh!

The End.

written by: Keonté Smith




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