Word Up!

8:54 PM
I have a strange personality. I can make great conversation with a random stranger, but I also enjoy periods of isolation from my closest family and friends. You'd think these two scenarios would be reversed. Not in my crazy world!

As I mentioned in the first sentence, my personality is strange. I have a slight idea on how I arrived at this lonely place. It's not my proudest accomplishment, but it is the truth. And I have to deal with it. Every.Single.Day.

Someone once told me I was "stuck-up" (don't worry, she was mad at the time). I laughed and nearly lost my breath from gasping so hard. It obviously was a person who didn't know me well. Those who get me know that the only thing "stuck-up" about me is the back of my shirt when it is magically tucked inside my pants (so much for revamping in the ladies room). I can be a bit clumsy at times. Just ask my elbow.

Anyway, I make light of her revelation because it was only a word.

In my reality I am:
  • Funny - I like laughing until my stomach hurts. It's the only way I get any exercise.
  • Compassionate - I'll cry right along with you when you're in pain. Besides, I can't let you be the only one with raccoon eyes after your make-up runs.
  • Creative - The ideas I come up with surprise me sometimes. I don't think Martha Stewart has anything to worry about though.
  • Bold - I'll wear some of the most craziest outfits. At least I'll be on someones list, even if it's worst dressed.
  • Sensitive - Everything has feelings to me. I apologize to the squirrel I ran over the other day. My bad!
  • Forgiving - Hurt hurts and so does hatred. God don't like ugly. I'm getting into heaven. Holla.
  • Trust-worthy - If you tell me to hold on to something, I'll do it. Just don't asks me to watch your bag of Almond M&M's. The pressure is too much to handle.

 Lately I have been:
  • Bitchy - Everything irritates me, even breathing. I'd like to blame P.M.S., but I can hardly find her on a regular basis.
  • Distant - I don't want to see, talk, or hear what goes on outside these walls. If you're not on Twitter, Facebook, or in the blogosphere, chances are I don't know what's going on in your world.
  • Lazy - Housework has been resting patiently on a "To-Do" list. The dishes are now on the same washing cycle as me - as needed.
  • Sensitive - This remains constant no matter where I'm at in life. I cried while watching someone else at a therapy session because I wanted to be on the couch with them. 
  • Lost - I don't even know what my next step is. Not even a GPS could point me in the right direction.
Who ever wrote, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" obviously did not own a dictionary. There are some tough words in there...and they do hurt. They invoke emotions and leave us second-guessing who were are.

I could drive myself crazy pointing out all the small details. Opinions. Judgments. Suggestions. Advice. All comprised of words. As John Legend would say, "..everybody knows that nobody really knows." I bet you didn't even know I use to be a blond (peep the picture).

Call me what you want, but I'm not listening. I'm too busy discovering new things about myself and documenting this journey.


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  1. It sounds to me like you are well rounded and strong women are considered stuck up sometimes as they are misunderstood.

    I love my periods of solitude that I get into now. It used to make me sad and think that I was depressed. As I looked back a few years ago I noticed that these periods were when I grew the most spiritually and creatively.

    To me its good to take a break from the gals and the noise of life and just chill. Grab a choclatini and youll really start to brain storm:)

    Thanks for stopping by.

  2. @Lucy That was the best comment someone has left in a long time. It really meant a lot.

    Women don't stick together anymore. It's a shame. Together we could rule the world.

  3. I loved this blog post. It's awesome to recognize your complexity. When we start trying to put labels on ourselves and put ourselves in all these boxes, we run the risk of feeling inadequate because we can't always fulfill the roles. Good for you for just being YOU.

    And that bottom pic of you is absolutely gorgeous and so peaceful!


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