Full Circle

1:22 PM

Exactly one year ago, I left my job. I was completely stressed. A new atmosphere, new position, more responsibility, workplace drama, school, and home life all pulled me in different directions. I remember waking up each morning and crying. Ian can attest to this. He suffered from plenty of dinner-less nights because of this emotional strain. Let's just say I was not very available for my family during this time.

I hated that I let work interfere with play, so to speak. I would bring files home to complete for the next work day. I worked overtime several days to catch-up on assignments. Heck, I even opened and closed the branch due to no-shows from other employees, working over 10 hours. In my position, I was obligated to do this. And for that reason alone I said, "Enough is enough."

I left work that day, headed to Kaden's soccer game, and never looked back.

Things were great...for awhile. I somehow escaped my reality by shopping, going online, spending more time with friends and family, and eventually creating this blog. I had found a false sense of happiness, which was soon deflated when I begin balancing my checkbook.

When you stop working you have to decide who and what will be affected. At the time, I acted in haste, and never thought about my family. Even though we made it by each month, it was not without arguments, confrontations, and heartache. The bills were piling up, the pressure was unbelievable, and I was crashing.

My world crumbled.

Now, I am picking up the pieces slowly.

On Monday, I begin a new journey. After taking a year off, I am finally gearing up to re-enter the workforce. Let's just say it is bitter sweet. I am blessed to have the opportunity to work again, but I will surely miss the freedom to spend my day unplanned. I know that I will have to invest a lot of time managing work, home, and play, but I am more willing than ever.

I look forward to grocery shopping and splurging on a box of ice cream. I look forward to being able to fill my car up with gas instead of riding on 'E'. I look forward to paying the bills...on time. I look forward to having a family night out at a restaurant. I look forward to purchasing that new blouse from the store that looks great with everything. I look forward to making a contribution to Kaden's school, to church, or to someone in need.  I'm moving forward.

These may seem like materialistic outlooks, but they provide a sense of accomplishment to someone who has been out of work for over 360 days. I have suffered long enough.

I have come full circle. Not all by myself, but with a great group of supporters. I love them, I admire them, and I owe much gratitude to them.

I can't wait to start this journey. You may notice I will be absent from a lot of the places I use to frequent, but know that it is all for the better. Who knows, this new chapter may release me from my writer's block and you may actually enjoy reading my blog.

Let the Circle of Life continue.

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