I know that little boys like big trucks. I just never imagined that Liam's first encounter with one would be in the form of an ambulance.
But it happened today.
Our morning started off like any other. We gazed into each other's eyes and I reasoned with him to "please go back to sleep."
Most of the time I lost this battle, so I would proceed to nurse him back to exhaustion. It worked. Sometimes. But it came with a little price to pay – my entire chest being covered by milk.
|My milky present from Liam|
I did succeed, somewhat, at getting Liam down for a nap. I guess the milk eventually satisfied his needs. He fell asleep while nursing. I removed him from my breast, swaddled him, then laid him down for a nap.
|Liam looked so peaceful during his nap today|
I took a shower. I checked my e-mail. I did some light cleaning. I snacked.
All while checking in on Liam to make sure he wasn't squirming or whining in his normal fashion.
Nope. He was fast asleep.
As the time approached for me to pick up big brother Kaden from school, I was forced to wake Liam from his deep slumber. It's not often that this happens, so I dreaded being the one who had to interrupt this beautiful process.
I had to.
I changed his diaper. Changed his clothes. Did all the things I normally did to get him ready to hit the road.
He was fussy, as usual. This normally signals his tummy was aching and that he was about to spit up.
He did. Big time. It came through his nose and mouth with an intensity I had never seen before. Who would have known that this was a bit of foreshadowing?!
We hit the road.
As we waited in the car rider line for Kaden at his school, I continued to check on Liam. I had snagged a Fisher Price Rainforest Baby View Auto Mirror from the thrift store for $1. It was positioned on the back seat so that I could see Liam's face while I was driving. Today, that face was one of horror.
I heard Liam try to gasp for air. I turned to get a glimpse in the mirror. His eyes were popping out of his head and his nostrils were leaking milk as his mouth poured with mucus.
Without hesitation, and the car in drive (lawd!), I yanked Liam from his car seat. Thank goodness I remembered to press on the brake, then put the car in park. This was all happening as cars were inching forward to pick up their child from school. We were next in line.
I could see Kaden's smiling face up ahead. I knew that I had to be calm when he entered the car. Since Liam's birth, he had become my most trusted companion in the back seat. He was always there for his big brother on our many car rides.
Kaden opened the door to a panicked voice and his baby brother dangling helpless in my arm. I passed Liam back to Kaden and told him that we had to take him next door to the fire station.
Of course he wanted to know why, so I explained that he was having trouble breathing. I could see that Kaden was a bit terrified. I maintained my composure as much as I could.
Just a few short feet away from Kaden's school was a fire department. I drove frantically up the driveway to a garage full of big trucks. It was quiet and calm.
I hopped out of the car with Liam in my arms and ran to the first person I saw.
"Can somebody help me? My baby is having trouble breathing."
|Liam and I after all the craziness (I'll tell him about this some day)|
The medic told me that Liam crying was a great sign. He begin to extract all the mucus in his mouth and his nose. It just kept coming and coming.
I was asked a series of questions.
I hate that part of any emergency situation.
No one wants to talk.
Just help me.
The two medics did a wonderful job of keeping me calm. They talked to Liam and told him how cute and strong he was. They even chuckled when I corrected them for saying he had formula in his nose. I quickly came back with, "It's breast milk!" The lieutenant said, "Oh. Sorry." It was a much needed diversion from the panic taking place.
After all was said and done, Liam was okay. His pulse was great and he was breathing easy again.
I think I was the one who left with a hurting heart.
The medics gave me the option to head to the emergency room. They said we could take a ride at that very moment. Although I'm sure Liam, as a little boy, would have loved the thrill of his first ride in a big truck, I passed.
He appeared to be back to his normal self and I was glad. Kaden and I both looked relieved.
|Today wore everyone out|
I'm sure I won't get any sleep tonight. I'll be watching Liam like a hawk. It's almost identical to our first night in the hospital where I was afraid to take my eyes off of him as he slept. I just can't imagine him having to experience such horror as a little baby. It breaks my heart.
In life, we are often reminded of how precious and fragile life is. The simplest events can trigger a wake-up call that places us on alert for the bigger picture – that is to LOVE!
I barely want to put Liam down. I cannot stop kissing him. I want to hold him close.
Little boys may like big trucks. Let's just make sure we avoid taking a ride in the one with the sirens.
Whew! What a day.