And I'm not ready.
But are we ever really ready for a baby? Or any type of change for that matter?
Today started off like a typical day (besides the fact that I actually showered).
Kaden and I both got ready — him for school, me for a doctor's appointment — and headed out the door on time. Gasp!
I was feeling pretty good about what was ahead. I knew my blood pressure had been a bit on the high side, but I hoped it was just a mix of anxiety and normal pregnancy conditions.
I gave a urine sample. I got on the scale (I gained three pounds in three days). And then the blood pressure cuff was strapped around my arm.
This is where the story takes a turn.
The nurse loosened the cuff and mumbled under her breath, "One sixty over ninety." If you do the math correctly, that equals high blood pressure.
I chuckled a bit. Not that the situation was funny, but I could not believe this was happening all over again. Everything mirrored my first pregnancy.
I headed to a room down the hall. I was hooked up to the non-stress test to monitor baby's heartbeat and to check to see if I was contracting. Believe it or not, I like this part of my visit. It's where I get in a quick nap and calm my nerves.
Barvey would not cooperate at first. He kept kicking and moving around, until finally he settled in a spot that could clearly pick up his heartbeat. It was music to my ears.
The nurse checked my pressure again and this time she had a smile on her face.
"One thirty over eighty."
That sounded much better.
Until the doctor came in.
She laid it all out on the line.
She told me that my results from Monday showed I had a lot of protein spilling into my urine. My kidney's were not doing their job. I had come face to face to pre-eclampsia...again.
And the kicker? I'm being induced!
In two weeks time, at which I'll be 37 weeks pregnant, I could have a baby in my arms.
Of course I am praying to get a little farther along, but this would technically be considered full term. I just want Barvey to bake as long as he can without having his health compromised.
I guess that's the great part about this story. Barvey is always fine. His heartbeat remains the same and he is not under any stress. I just need to get my act under control.
I know this whole process is out of my hands, but I can't help think about all there is to do before the baby arrives. Ironically, all I keep thinking about is my big boy, Kaden. I want to make sure his schedule is not affected at all.
Pregnancy is definitely unpredictable.
I guess all of life is.
You just have to roll with it.
The baby is coming. And there is nothing anyone can do about it.
But that doesn't mean I can't feel the way I do.
At least Barvey has his suit and (bow)tie.
Wish us luck!!