Tick, Tock | Mommy 2K

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Tick, Tock


Where did you go, time?

Years ago there was plenty of you to spare. No scheduling, no rushing, no anticipation as to whether or not I'd get it all done. There was an abundance of you and somehow I've managed to use all of your great resource.

Where did you go, time?

As I lay in the bed, staring at the bare walls that I've often had my back against. The walls that I have slid down when I could no longer stand. If only these walls could talk. What would they say? I remember how much we've been through together. You remember, don't you?

Slipping.
Falling.
Drowning.

Can you hear that?

The clock's rhythmic reminder that time waits for no one. Evenly spaced intervals of 1 second. So much can happen in so little time.

Where did you go, time?

I gave birth to another life. Housed his body in mine. Delivered him to the world without a warning. Fed him to the hunger and desire of a heart filled with love. Endless love. Unconditional love. Love's love. There was no time to think. Only time to love. And yet, almost nine years later, I still feel like I need more time to nurture my "baby".

Where did you go, time?

I tried to sweep a bit of you under the rug in an attempt to hide you. Protect you. Selfishly harvest you for my future endeavours. I even tried to buy you. "Give me just a little more...time." I sped you up to make more of you, but failed at meeting you halfway. Even when I race against you, I always end up behind. You reach the finish line every time. Before me that is. Catch me if you can.

I've tried to make you something you never wanted to be, and never will be -- mine.

The truth is, you belong to everyone. Held captive in space until needed, but never left unattended. You are often wasted, misused, abused, and taken for granted. Who ever said you would always be there must have been dealt a hand of certainty. I've always known you couldn't stay forever.

Nothing good last forever. Including you, time.

And so, you move.

While we sleep.
While we play.
While we cry.
While we pray.

You are woven into the fabric of our life, holding together what needs to be done until we are able to make it there. Sometimes your strength to hold on weakens, and your thread unravels, thus ripping our lives at the seam.

Tick, tock. Tick, tock. Listen to that sound.

Going...going...gone. Tick, tock. Tick, tock.

Catch me if you can.

I can't.
I won't.

My time is up.

But, I plan on catching up to you soon...in due time.



 
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